It grabs my heart and tears my soul,
everytime leaving me horribly cold,
alone and shivering no one cares,
as i try to stay afloat in this nightmare,

I can laugh and mix around,
but until eternity i will be bound,
to this unsettling feeling of being lonely,
even if i'm in a place where people is all i can see,

for i feel i shall never blend in,
if i do it is but a lie to within,
people tell me be different be unique,
but instead of being great i end up a lonely prick,

what they say i do not agree,
what they enjoy i cannot see,
i do not wish to join them either,
but still there's this horrible fear,

i'm different but i'm not great,
i am but a useless rubbish people hate,
but if i cannot be great why be different?
and yet this decision i cannot turn,

i am brought up this way,
like a pot of different clay,
i see what other's usually don't,
i appreciate what other's won't,

i am grateful to be able to be like this,
but at times i really miss,
a sense of belonging,
it is such an alien feeling,

and yet no matter how different i am,
i am but the useless lousy Ben,
failure in all subjects and a loner,
everyday heart getting colder,

so what if i can see what other's don't,
or feel what other's won't,
when in the end a simple gate i can't open,
all i can do is watch my future burn,

along the way i lose my happiness,
i noticed it's not the first,
i feel genuinely happy lesser and lesser,
always feeling distant and colder,

a smile on my face,
my heart cold as space,
a laugh on my lips,
it is but an automaton that's fixed,

i am different and uncontent,
with all my feelings getting pent,
midlife crisis during my teen,
I'm lonely, sad, confused and depressed bout everything...

Kai-Teoh. Teoh Jun-Kai

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Drip,
From my slit wrist,
My life.

Drip,
From my sad eyes,
My dreams.

Flow,
Gone; my life.
Shattered; my dreams.