Once in awhile i get benny's block,
Can't write my feelings none at all,
what comes out is just pure crock,
Hurts as much as broken balls,
I vent my feelings through what i write,
when i can't it's clogged and it hurts,
it's like taking a one meter pipe,
and use it to whack your "bird",
forgive me for my weird metaphors,
like i said i can't write nothing properly,
and as the huge rain outside pours,
i'm getting so confused i'm giddy,
i wish for someone to be by my side,
but nothing lasts during the teenage years,
so these feelings i desperately hide,
and i'm a one man show against my fears,
ever woke up feelings totally displaced?
Not recognising anything around you?
these feelings drive me to that place,
and leaves me there alone without a clue,
oh i'm feeling so frustrated,
confused and messed up and so much more,
the useless person underneath the shirt,
feels this life is just too hardcore...
stoned @ 7:57 AM
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Hands up with my palm outward,
it means i surrender and i give up,
all this things damn they hurt!
and i'm just tired and fed up,
As much as i like her there's nothing i can do,
just like when i was with yun,
i've got so much on my hands i'm like "shoo!"
sooner or later i'm gonna be locked up as a loon,
it sucks to see the things i work for going down,
just at the moment i wanted to start something new,
i've shouted and screamed and cried and frowned,
but no matter what i do it's still screwed,
i know i've said this soo many times before,
but i'm just so darn tired of all this shit,
but still it comes back more and more,
and all the decisions i make just doesn't seem fit!
you knoow that show 101 dalmations?
there's like so many doggies it's seems infinite right?
well this is similat cause it's 11 frustrations,
and they won't go even if i say "take a hike",
talk to someone whenever you have troubles,
well i talk to the oh-so-comforting mirror!
cause whoever i talk to would just pop like a bubble!
they'd run and do their best to disappear,
and shit does all this just suck like heck,
i was starting to be content and happy!
i was about to forget life sucks as a fact!
well screw that i'm never gonna be happy,
Damnit don't tell me i'm doing this!
Cause i was so bloody content with lifea week ago!
Someone had to come over and take a piss!
So fuck you ain't my fault you know!
Damn i'm starting to cry like shyt again!
life weren't perfect but good enough then!
and it hurts to seeeverything go down the drain,
i was about to paint a new image of BEN!
it just sucks so much man,
you try to change and you were doing ok,
and all of a sudden wham bam fck you mam!
you hear a voice saying "back to square one eh?"
my dreams are screwed and i'm a wreck,
gave up on everything including me myself and i,
c'mon man what the heck?
it hurts too much to see everything say bye bye,
many things i understand but i deny,
this one i just don't understand!
it ain't my fault so tell me WHY?!
here i am crying again the typical useless pathetic ben.
stoned @ 7:55 AM
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A weird tingling feel down my spine,
a sense of slight unease coursing through,
for that moment there was no time,
my feet stuck to the ground like glue,
it was the sense of forebodding,
the sense of tresspassing the norm,
scary yet also unbelievably exciting,
as an idea came to form,
this uneasy yet exciting feeling,
this taken for granted situation,
it sends excitement through my being,
it shakes the mind's very foundation,
yet it is just unexplainable,
and it leaves me without a clue,
predicting the future is impossible,
so i'll just call this my Deja Vu.
stoned @ 4:08 AM
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