This marks the last of September,
Was foolish of me to think it’d be better,
The laughter couldn’t hide my tear,
As the days go by my pain becomes clearer,

Once in awhile I’d be happy,
But how many days out of the thirty?
Perhaps my month just isn’t mean to be,
The month that would let me be,

The shackles still bound me down,
My worries still make me frown,
Spun in confusion round and round,
Thrown in a crowd, never to be found,

I thought the scars would heal,
And I’d be allowed to feel,
But the days have served to reveal,
That my pain is still pretty much real,

I hoped against all they’d kiss and make up,
It just so happened I was out of luck,
I guess with the troubles I’m permanently stuck,
If only he’d be a little less of a schmuck,

September’s gone it came and went,
Leaving behind the faint season’s scent,
I guess troubles aren’t something you can circumvent,
Well here comes October, and its circus tent…

---

Author's Note: well... end of the Seasons of September i have to say. Frankly i already feel somewhat sad. end of my project! haha. now, i missed 3 days. i didn't realize i missed one day, i think it slipped my mind. 1 day was when i was too sick to use my head. and the last one was yesterday when i weren't around and was in Port Dickson. haha.

have i failed? well i don't think so. i had fun. i dug a little deeper in to my emotional world. the words could and would come. i'd say it was pretty much of a success. i'll miss the "everyday a poem" stress though. haha.

so. last day of september. i guess the poem should show pretty much of how i've been feeling. though i have left out the study stress part. who needs to know that eh?

well, here comes the circus act known as October! haha. perhaps i'll start another project in November. the November Nights? haha. 1 short story per week? xD

p.s. Penguin! i'm still behind you! haha didn't i say to you that i wouldn't be able to overtake you? hehe.

----------------
Now playing on iTunes: Craig David - All The Way
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Seasons of September

Just like the rest of the world,
Caught in an endless swirl,
There no way that i'm the only,
One that's alone and lonely,

Just like the rest of the world,
Caught in the endless swirl,
I am bruised and confused,
I've been abused and used,

Just like the rest of the world,
Caught in this endless swirl,
We strive just for the machines,
With cups of coffee in between,

Just like the rest of the world,
Caught in the never ending swirl,
I don't want this anymore,
The pain everyone abhors,

---

Author's Note: Smile empty soul... smile.

----------------
Now playing on iTunes: Smile Empty Soul - God's Army
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Seasons of September

Car underwater,
With plenty of time left,
Death circling nearer,
Awaiting the end of this mess,

What a serene view but,
Hurts to breathe water in,
The end of the line for this nut,
Most probably the catching up of my sins,

Is this how everything ends?
That I would die in a car underwater?
I have seen the end of all my plans,
Would anyone shed any tear?

Still I hold on ever so slightly,
Die! The suffocating air screams,
For it’s time to leave painfully,
You witness my end, with a grin.

---

Author's Note: an acrostic. suffocating slowly in a car underwater. being found years later. somehow... a pretty interesting idea.

what hurts the most?

Labels: Seasons of September

I bled,
With a laugh,
At the life I led,

Ain’t scared,
Of imminent death,
It’s just my next step,

Things I cared,
Matters not after all,
A tad painful, a lil sad,

Things I said,
Matters no more,
A lil insane, a tad mad,

Burn me please,
Put my ashes in an urn,
Death’s a release,
Not a punishment…

Labels: Seasons of September

Dark and damp,
Tears of pain,
Light the flickering lamp,
Almost insane,

Echoing breaths,
Shivering hands,
Life, nothing’s left,
Darkness, waiting at the end,

Struggling heart,
Lethargic me,
Ending right after the start,
Life? What’s there to see?

Cold, Shivering,
Stop it, how?
Nothing’s waiting,
So just end this now.

---

Author's Note: inspired by my Lecturer, Miss K. No i'm not saying she's like this, but her comment to me inspired this. nothing's waiting at the end.

to Stacie/Ana/Pengu: STOP BEING SO OPTIMISTIC!

----------------
Now playing on iTunes: Stars - Today Will Be Better, I Swear!
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Seasons of September

Carried away by optimism,
Fooled by all the promises,
It’s like falling into a chasm,
Will fear or pain kill you first?

You just forgot a simple small fact,
That people are born liars,
Every single time you’d soften the impact,
After all he’s your one desire,

Too late for you to realize it now,
Already hemorrhaging it’s really too late,
Yet life moves on no matter how,
Take a deep breath and ascend the stage,

To hell with all the memories of what once were,
To hell with all the promises that mean nothing,
Unworthy of even a single lonesome tear,
After all, there’s more in life waiting.

---

Author's Note: *another* love poem. well, this isn't about me or anything actually. a friend of mine just got dumped by a two timing cheating son of a gun. sounds familiar hmm? so very common. anyways, hoping she'll feel somewhat better after reading this.

----------------
Now playing on iTunes: Motion City Soundtrack - Shiver
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Seasons of September

My mind a confused mess,
Words that sound foreign to me,
Like a game of chinese chess,
Papercuts on every part i see,

They laugh at me as i throw up,
Cut me some slack they say too bad,
My my isn't this just my horrid luck,
Heart being played a fool by these horrid farts,

My sanity took a leap off the cliffs of life,
Thoughts unbearably incoherent part of me always,
Like the thoughts of an infant as old as day five,
Plagues of intellectuality? Gone are those days,

They lost my marbles and loosened my screws,
Devour my essence but tell me why me?
My goodness change your tactics do something new!
Soul? An idealistic representation of what you wish to see.

---

Author's Note: who says that life has to be "it" , "he" or "she"? life is such a... vast word. so why not "they"? haha. yeah. "they" are screwing me up. pffh.

anyways, i'm not sure if there's such thing as a double acrostic. or whatever. i'm not even sure of the EXACT definition of Acrostic. does the word Acrostic mean poetry with multiple messages hidden? or is it actually Acrostic Poetry? i'm really not sure.

first word of every line.
last word of every first 2 lines in a verse.

it was originally longer. 2 verses longer. but it might be a little too long so i cut those out.

Labels: Seasons of September

I wonder,
And I deter,
I hear,
And I fear,

I think,
My heart sinks,
In a blink,
Gone in a wink,

I cry,
I lie,
I’ll try
To say Goodbye.

---

Author's Note: am distracted. don't blame me. blame the song.

----------------
Now playing on iTunes: Secondhand Serenade - Maybe
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Seasons of September

How could you think that of me?,
Quickly you delude yourself,
Lust does not play a part don’t you see?!
Can you put your doubts on a shelf?

Pretend that never happened,
It was but a mistake in my part,
Is your trust in me so misshapen?
Love, whatever happened to the heart?

Fabricating all sorts of stories,
Delusions that are all in your head,
To find out that this is what you see in me,
Withdraw, retreat, run, you fled.

---

Author's Note: firstly, yunny don't think too much.

secondly, it's inspired by Emery's So Cold I Could See My Breath if you look down. inspired by its lyrics. i love singing to this song.

the meanings contradict each other though. or perhaps... they are but different viewpoints. first word of every line. perhaps i should stop divulging it and see if anyone figures it out?

i have alot of polishing to do when it comes to Acrostics...

----------------
Now playing on iTunes: Emery - So Cold I Could See My Breath
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Seasons of September

Innocence, always a privilege,
Gone are those days,
Never will I find that one page,
Take me, just take me away,

Friendship is but an illusion,
Personal insults is the latest craze,
If only they’d lose that delusion,
I wish to go back to my early days,

Can’t stand the pressure no more,
Hold it in I’m barely able to,
Myself, unable to settle the score,
Together perhaps? But with who?

Why should I be dependent though?
Should I even consider anyone?
You of all people should know,
Hold it in cause I’m coming undone,

Me, the person who refuses to break,
Now, do or die. Make or break.

---

Author's Note: i feel like crap. feel like crap. another acrostic.

----------------
Now playing on iTunes: Anberlin - Ready Fuels
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Seasons of September

Devoid of all inner thoughts,
Oblivious to the surroundings,
Nervous about the upcoming shot,
Take your shot, it isn’t about winning,
Whispering a small prayer,
As you propel yourself forward,
Know you’ll end up a failure
Even though you’ll bare all the hurt,
Mustering all that is left of your heart,
Enough is enough you petrify your emotions,
Until the world ends you won’t drop your guard.
Pondering if one day they’ll finally learn…

---

Author's Note: Acrostic poetry. a friend of mine indirectly introduced it to me, and i was thinking that i should start experimenting with more forms of poetry. was thinking about what my mother's colorgenics profile said, and what mine said, and what she said to me about my eye candy. i came up with this conclusion.

----------------
Now playing on iTunes: The Hush Sound - You Are the Moon
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Seasons of September

Take a look at me,
Who is it you see?
You see all sorts of personality,
You’ll know me only to a small degree,

I didn’t remove my heart,
And hide it somewhere smart,
I just petrified its every part,
The stone heart, a work of art,

Left, Right?
My future, out of sight,
Indecipherable even with herculean might,
Kneel down surrender without a fight?

Up, Down?
Played a fool by life’s clown,
Whirled and spun round and round,
In perplexity I am eternal bound,

Black and white, shades of grey,
What is color but a fanciful display?
Life in disarray,
We all decay.

---

Author's Note: omg! 12.06! i'm six minutes late! sorry sorry. my humble apologies. i am feeling somewhat unstable right now, which hopefully would explain the seemingly random choice of words. however, try digging a little deeper, it's not really random. though somewhat cryptic at certain points. trying not to be cryptic i'm hoping it's working.

p.s. my FoxyTunes "Now Playing" function isn't working well with iTunes. no more "Now Playing" signatures... sobs.

Labels: Seasons of September

The cup of coffee you thought was tea,
The endless abyss you thought was a pit,
Taken for granted cause you thought it’s free,
You’re so full of yourself you piece of shit,

That’s me you’re taking advantage off,
That’s me who you’ll never really know,
You thought you figured me out and scoffed,
Well my friend, you were just an audience at a show,

Not ever was I fooled by your false pretense,
I just thought that all you needed was time,
But then you got carried away with your sinister plans,
Your foolishness, idiocy and amentia is sublime!

Open your eyes and take a look around,
You’re a prisoner of your own charades,
I am beyond you, our differences are profound,
One day, you’ll realize that in life, you can’t masquerade.

Author's Note: i've got no idea where all that came from. really. it just came out very spontaneously. whoosh. the words kept spilling out. to be truthful, i am unsure who this poem is directed to. however, i can easily come up with various names. it's a common happenstance where a good person is easily taken advantage off. tell me, how is a person supposed to be generous *not in the monetary sense* when everyone's a potential masked asshole?

and well, i'd like to dedicate this to a friend of mine, Yvonne, who's celebrating her birthday today. the 16th of September. I'm quite sure she feels the same way as i do in this poem. misunderstood, taken advantage off, yet proud as ever.

comments dudes/dudettes! comments!

Labels: Seasons of September

The salesman stood at my house's doorstep,
With a ludicrous grin he advertised his product,
"Life! That's whave i have for sale my young lad!"
"You better take my offer now or you're outta luck!"

"With experiences such as love, pleasure and happiness"
"It's really a product you won't wish to miss out"
"It's like the one elixir that'll satisfy all your thirst"
"It'll make you so high you'll be sleeping on clouds"

"Since you're such a fine dashing young man"
"I'll forego all my profit and present it to you free!"
"Just on hold to the product till its contract ends"
"You'll love it! It's the Best! Trust me you'll see!"

I was cheated, tricked, fooled, befuddled, bamboozled,
I was naive, foolish, but ultimately just very gullible,
Never did i think the package comes with Sorrow and Hurt,
Lief really IS a bitch, albeit very subtle.

Author's Note: is it amusing? is it fitting? is it good? inspired by Our Lady Peace. i think the poem speaks for itself. i just thought of door to door salesman and life in general.

Labels: Seasons of September

I feel as if I’m running in quicksand,
I go down and down as I go faster and faster,
I doubt that you’d actually consider this friend,
Cause there’s so many others that are better,

I don’t wish to turn into a self delusional fool,
Mistaking things for what they’re obviously not,
Sometimes I really wish I’m Mr Hot & Cool,
Cause maybe then I’d get a possible shot,

Hope will kill us all, period.
Life’s a bitch, and then we die.
But then it’s not the death it’s the hurt,
Of failing terribly when I decide to try.

Author's Note: i swear, the next poem i write won't be a crush based one. i don't even know why i'm writing these. maybe it's cause i wish to have a crush or something. blah.

Labels: Seasons of September

I give up asking cause I know you’ll lie,
You’d look me in the eye and say everything’s alright,
I know something’s wrong so I still try and try,
You expect me to be ignorant up till this very night?

I know you’re still here only cause of your children,
While inside your heart’s been ripped to shreds,
I lose sleep every damn night as I toss and turn,
As I think of you sleeping on a separate bed,

I’ll hold myself together as long as you do too,
I'm of your flesh and blood as stubborn as you,
I’ll do my best to help you pull through,
Life's a bitch, what else is new?

Author's Note: well... i won't say who this is for, because i think it's pretty damn obvious.

Labels: Seasons of September

Drip,
From my slit wrist,
My life.

Drip,
From my sad eyes,
My dreams.

Flow,
Gone; my life.
Shattered; my dreams.

---

Author's Note: Call it laziness to rhyme, call it anything you want. but my mind can only come up with these words, and simple as it is it somehow evokes an image for me. if it does not for you, too bad so sad.

----------------
Now playing: Emery - Miss Behavin'
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Seasons of September

I’ll write and sing a song for you,
If you’ll shout and scream with me,
I’m uninspired and left without a clue,
But then first the promise, then we’ll see,

We could rock the world with Emery,
Shouting bout teenage angst and adolescent lust,
Or we could sing just like John Vesely,
Sharing with the world the story of broken trust,

We could speak our minds like Rise Against,
Actively involved in reshaping our world,
Or maybe go smooth and silky like Darren Hayes?
Driving people crazy! Boys and Girls!

We could pull falsettos like All American Rejects,
Showing our paper hearts and dirty little secrets,
Or we could be emo-styled like MxPx!
Walking 1000 miles till our feet hurts!

But I’m happy as long as it’s you and me,
A guitar in your hands and a rhyme book in mine,
It doesn’t matter what comes to be,
S’long as we’re together we’ll be just fine.

---

Author's Note: So what do you think? the 2nd poem derived from the same first verse. somewhat song related though... so if you don't know the songs by the artists you might not catch all the references.

----------------
Now playing: Mxpx - Role Remodeling
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Seasons of September

I’ll write and sing a song for you,
If you’ll shout and scream with me,
I’m uninspired and left without a clue,
But then first the promise, then we’ll see,

I’ll hold you close and hug you tight,
If you’ll kiss my lips and embrace my heart,
Every time I see you what a sight,
A conversation? If only I know how to start!

I’ll take your quirks and your mood swings,
If you’ll accept my constant state of ambiguity,
Once in awhile maybe things will sting,
But wouldn’t life be boring if I was less silly?

I’ll crack all the lame jokes in the world,
If you’ll cheer up and accept its humor,
All that matters is your smile girl,
And that sweet sounding laughter,

I’ll be your puppy if what you want is a dog,
I’ll fetch your sleepers and lay at your feet,
I’ll jump at your sight like an electrified shock,
I’ll cuddle with you as you slowly fall asleep.

---

Author's Note: this poems's first verse somehow ended up as 2 separate poems. meaning i have 2 poems with the same first verse. they're somewhat related in the theme but then not really either. so what should i do? should i post the other one as well?

somehow i like the first verse's first two lines. i'll sing for you, if you'll shout with me.

----------------
Now playing: MXPX - Quit Your Life
via FoxyTunes

Labels: Seasons of September

You curl yourself up on the bed,
Hiding beneath the thick wool covers,
You try to block off everything they've said,
Wondering where's the fiery passion of September,

You wake up thinking it's all a dream,
Until you notice the missing red car,
Things are so bad, worst than it seems,
But you walk out of the house bright as a star,

As you double up laughing at lame jokes,
You're screaming inside out of sorrow & terror,
As you're attentive and rapidly copying down notes,
You're wondering if it's come true, your worst fear,

The library's silence is unbearably deafening,
And your inner voices are taking advantage of it,
Chapter 2, Psychology, none of it is going in,
Your heart it hemorrhage, it bleeds,

You fill your ear with Sugarcult's Worst December,
You force your mind to absorb the words,
Tomorrow's the 11th of September,
Year after every damn year, it only gets worst.

---

Author's Note: i know it's not a nice poem. i feel so too. don't ask why i wrote this, go figure.

Labels: Seasons of September

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Drip,
From my slit wrist,
My life.

Drip,
From my sad eyes,
My dreams.

Flow,
Gone; my life.
Shattered; my dreams.